The Grace to Love Your Enemies

How to Deal with Enemies Spiritually and Biblically

Dealing with enemies can be one of the most difficult things we face in life.  Maybe “enemy” is too strong of a word for some of us, but we all have them.  Maybe we don’t call them enemies, but they are adversaries, rivals, opponents, or just people we don’t really like for some reason.

To be specific, maybe it’s a bully at school, a co-worker, neighbor, a family member, or someone on the other side of the political aisle from you.  As you even picture them right now, your blood begins to boil, and you have thoughts of how you’d like to hurt them in some way or that something bad would happen to them in their life.

You want to get even if they’ve done something to you.  You want them to hurt like you’ve hurt.

You might even think about them more often than you’d care to admit.  They cause anxiety, worry, or maybe even fear.  Maybe you are losing sleep over it.

Dealing with enemies can be a real struggle and a legitimate cause of stress in our lives.

How do you deal with enemies spiritually and biblically?

Well, first let’s be honest.  Maybe that question even adds to the stress.  Most of us know that Jesus tells us to love our enemies (Luke 6:27), but that isn’t what we want to do.  And how do we even do something like that?

The answer:  God’s grace.

Speaking of His grace, did you know that you were once considered God’s enemy?

The apostle Paul writes this in Romans 5:10:

"For if, while we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!”

Because of sin in our lives, we were separated from God and considered enemies of His.  But out of His mercy and love towards us (as enemies), He allowed Jesus to take the wrath that we deserved so that we can now be called children of God.

What grace towards His enemies! 

But remember that God did not extend His grace to you just so that you’d be in heaven with Him one day.  Through His grace, He gave you a new heart.  He gave you a new nature.  He made you a new creation in Christ.

Your new heart reflects His heart for His enemies.  By His grace, He empowers you to love your enemies.

We see this in the life of Stephen in the book of Acts.

The Example of Stephen

In Acts 1, after Jesus died and was meeting with the disciples after His resurrection, He told them that they would receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon them.  Well, in Acts 2, we see God send His Spirit. 

Then in Acts 6-7 we read about a guy named Stephen who becomes a Christian and has the Holy Spirit living in Him.  Stephen was persecuted for his faith and people actually began to stone him to death.  Do you know what Stephen cried out as they were stoning him, and he was dying?

Here’s what we are told in Acts 7:59-60:

59 While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” 60 Then he fell on his knees and cried out, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.”

Does that sound familiar?  Of course it does, because it is exactly what Jesus said when He was dying on the cross.  Why would Stephen say the same thing that Jesus did?  Because of His new heart.  Because Christ lived in Him and was expressing His life through Him by the Spirit.

The same Spirit lives in you!  As you keep your eyes on Jesus, He will lead and empower you to love your enemies.

The Flesh

You may be thinking, “Then why do I sometimes want to crush my enemies instead of love them?”  That’s because of your flesh.  What might be called your “false self.”

The real you is who you are at the spirit level.  You are in a spiritual union with Jesus Christ.  It’s in that union where you find your identity.  You are a child of God, holy, righteous, loved, and loving. 

But even though this is the real you, you have flesh patterns.  You have ways that you’ve tried to cope with things in this world outside of Christ.  One of those is the way you deal with enemies.

You feel like you have to crush your enemy and put them in their place to justify yourself and to cope with the hurt you feel.

But there is nothing in you at the core of your being (your real self in Christ) that feels that way.  You’ve been justified by Christ.  He is your comforter when you’ve been hurt.  What happened to you by your enemy does not define you.  Who you are in Christ defines you, and that never changes no matter what happens to you.

Freedom to Forgive and Love

As we renew our minds to the truth of who we are in Christ and all that we have in Him (compared to when we were His enemies), we will experience the freedom to not have to retaliate against our enemies.

Not only that, but we’ll experience the freedom to forgive those who are mean to us and hurt us.  We’ll experience the freedom to love them and serve them.

Oh the grace that God gives us!  The grace for salvation.  The grace for forgiveness (in our own life).  The grace for a new identity.  The grace to heal our wounds.  The grace to forgive others.  And the grace to love our enemies.

He is our Source.  Keep your eyes fixed on Him.  Walk by faith in who you are in Christ.  Trust Him with your enemies and experience the freedom He’ll give you to forgive and love them over the fleshly bondage to get even.

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Satan and Temptation