Is Sex a Sin According to the Bible?
If you grew up in church, and especially if it was during the time there was a big emphasis on purity culture, you might think that sex is a sin according to the Bible.
You might think of sex being dirty, evil, and worldly. I remember my youth group days, and there were times when I walked away from certain settings thinking the exact same things about sex.
But is sex a sin according to the Bible?
No.
GOD CREATED SEX
We are told in the creation account found in Genesis that God created mankind.
27 So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.
(Genesis 1:27)
Imagine this moment. Adam and Eve have just been created, and this is the first time they are seeing each other. There’s no history there. There’s no idea what to do next. It’s just them and God and all that He had created.
Can you imagine what they are thinking? “Okay God what now? I mean like we’re here, but what do we do now?” I wonder what God told them. Well, we are told in the very next verse.
28 God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it…”
(Genesis 1:28)
Wow, the first thing that God tells Adam and Eve to do after creating them is to go have sex!
In other words, what we see here in the Bible is that God created sex. Sex was His idea, and He expected his creation in the right context to have sex.
Therefore, sex is not evil. God only creates things that are good, holy, and right.
However, just like all good things that God creates, Satan will try to take those things and twist them to make them something they are not. Satan takes a good thing and elevates it in this world to make it the ultimate thing.
Our enemy would love to convince us that we are just sexual beings and that we should just give into our sexual impulses as they arise in any and all situations. But this is not true.
Look at what God says to Adam and Eve immediately after telling them to be fruitful and multiply.
“Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”
(Genesis 1:28b)
In other words, God told them to subdue the earth and bring it under control. Well, how were they supposed to do that if they were just sexual beings?
Human beings were created to think and work. We were created to be creative and to use our minds, personalities, and our bodies to shape culture under God’s guidance and empowerment.
So, we are not just sexual beings. God created us for way more than just sex.
But with sex being part of what God created for us, what role is it supposed to play in our lives, and under what context?
WHAT ROLE DOES SEX PLAY IN OUR LIVES?
PROCREATION
We’ve already seen one of the reasons that God created sex, and that is for procreation. God said in Genesis 1:28 to, “Be fruitful and fill the earth.”
This is part of the Creation Mandate. God created sex for us to have babies and populate the earth that He had created.
But is this the only reason God created sex? In some churches or Christian circles, this may be the message you hear, but it’s not true.
According to the Bible, sex is much more than just for procreation.
PLEASURE
God also created sex for enjoyment and pleasure. Solomon testifies to this in the Song of Solomon 5:1, where he says this after his honeymoon night…
I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride; I have gathered my myrrh with my spice. I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey; I have drunk my wine and my milk. Eat, friends, and drink; drink your fill of love.
(Song of Solomon 5:1)
Solomon is not talking about food here! He is talking about the intimacy he shared with his spouse on their honeymoon.
And notice, in talking about it, he did not say, “Hey everyone, last night we had sex to simply make a baby. There was nothing that great about it. This is just biology. That’s it.” No, he obviously enjoyed it and even encourages people to be intoxicated with love.
God created sex not just for procreation, but also for our enjoyment and pleasure. However, that enjoyment and pleasure are meant to be experienced in a certain context.
WHOM IS SEX CREATED FOR?
God created sex for a marriage relationship between a man and a woman.
24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
(Genesis 2:24)
We see here in the creation account, and Jesus affirms this in Matthew 19, that sex was created by God for a man and a woman in a marriage relationship.
Now, to a lot of us that sounds restrictive. It sounds crazy and absurd to most people in our culture. To a lot of people, it may even seem cruel. Why would God not want you to have any fun and be able to really enjoy sex?
But remember that God did create sex for you to enjoy. So, the truth is that if God wants us to enjoy it, then He knows that we are going to enjoy it the most only in the context of a marriage relationship.
WHY DID GOD CREATE SEX FOR MARRIAGE BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN?
God wants us to enjoy sex in the fullest possible sense, which He knows is only in a marriage relationship between a man and a woman. And God even shows us why in Genesis 1:24 with His reference to how they become “one flesh.”
“One flesh,” is a reference to sexual intimacy. A man and a woman are physically joined together as one flesh in the act of sex. However, that’s not all that one flesh means. One flesh is more than just physical.
All throughout Scripture, marriage oneness is spiritual and soulical. It’s a joining together of mind, emotions, and will. And so when it comes to sex, it is meant to be much more than just a physical act between two people.
This is why we will enjoy sex in the fullest possible way when it is in a marriage context between a man and a woman with God at the center of it. We can enjoy the spiritual and soulical aspects of sex along with the physical aspect because it is with our spouse whom we are one with and committed to until death do us part.
So again, is sex a sin according to the Bible? No, sex is a good thing, created by God for us to enjoy in the context of a marriage relationship between a man and a woman.
PRACTICAL APPLICATION
Even though God created sex for our enjoyment in the right context, we must keep in mind that it is not the ultimate thing we draw life from. Jesus is our Life (John 11:25). He is our Source. We have all that we need for life and godliness in Him (2 Peter 1:3).
Satan, through the influence of this world, would love to make us believe that sex is ultimate. And he has done a great job of convincing most of the world that this is true. He has taken this good thing created by God and twisted it to keep us from experiencing Jesus as our Life and from enjoying His good gifts the way they were designed to be.
With that in mind, here are a few practical applications in regard to God’s design for sex in our lives.
WAIT UNTIL MARRIAGE TO HAVE SEX
Remember that God is not holding out on you. He is simply wanting you to enjoy sex in the fullest possible sense, and He knows that you will do that in a marriage relationship where you can enter into with someone from the opposite sex in a truly physical, soulical, and spiritual way as one.
Now, I’m sure if that’s you that some of you are thinking, “Yeah but that is hard to do in this culture. Sex is all around us and the temptation is great.” And you’re right, it is.
But if you know that Christ is your life and that all of your needs are being met in Him, then you can be content, secure, and find all of your worth in who you are in Christ which frees you from that pressure as you renew your mind to that truth.
Now, if this is an area you’ve made some bad choices in, please know that Jesus’ forgiveness is complete and that He is a God who restores and redeems. So, it’s never ever too late to turn to Him and allow Him to begin to guide and empower your choices from here on out.
DON’T USE PORNOGRAPHY
If you are single, you might be tempted to think, “Okay, I’ll save myself for marriage but in the meantime, I’ll satisfy this curiosity and the urges that I feel with pornography. That way I won’t really be having sex with anyone, but I’ll still get to experience the pleasure until then.”
This is a lie. Porn is obviously not what God intended for sex. It is not sex between 2 married people, and even if it was, sex wasn’t meant to be used for someone else’s pleasure anyway either. It was designed for them and them alone to enjoy.
But even beyond that, here are a couple of other things to consider. First, you will carry those images into your marriage and place those expectations on your spouse. You will expect them to perform in the ways that you’ve been watching others perform, and this is not how it works. Then there will be frustration, confusion, anger, and all kinds of things you will be bringing into your marriage bed.
Second, the lure of pornography will not go away just because you get married. If you think you’ll just watch it until you get married and then all your needs will be met, you’ll find that this stuff is addicting and rewires your brain. These will become habits and things that you will go to for a high. It will drive a wedge between you and your spouse and the fullness of what God created sex to be for you.
Obviously, then this also has application to those of us who are married as well. Did you know that pornography addiction has been cited in some recent studies as a factor in almost 60% of divorces that occur? This is a major problem in our culture and in our marriages, and Satan is using it to tear apart marriages and to steal, kill, and destroy our own lives.
If this has already become a problem for you, please seek help. It is not too big for Jesus to overcome. Turn it over to Him, and seek out people who can help you fight this battle. It is worth it.
IF YOU ARE MARRIED, HAVE SEX ON A REGULAR BASIS
If God created sex as something for you as a man and a woman to enjoy and as a part of the oneness and intimacy that He created marriage for, then He will lead you to make this a part of your marriage on a regular basis.
Now of course, there is no definition of how often that is, and this can be dependent upon age and stage of life, but that is a discussion for you and your spouse to have and come to an agreement upon. Also, if God created it and meant for it to be a part of your lives, then it is fitting to even pray about how He is leading you in this area.
DON’T DEMAND SEX OR USE IT AS A MANIPULATION TOOL
While Jesus created us to enjoy sex in the context of our marriage relationship and will lead us to be unselfish (1 Corinthians 7) that does not give us the right to demand sex anytime we want it. Respect your spouse’s situation, what they are feeling, how their day went, and in all ways as you consider this part of your marriage.
It can also be tempting to use sex for power, and control, or to manipulate our spouse into getting something from them that we feel we need. However, if we renew our minds to the truth that all of our needs are met in Christ, then this frees us from the need to use sex in this way.
ALLOW JESUS TO FREE YOU FROM SHAME IN THE BEDROOM
Sometimes with sin in the world, we feel shame when it comes to intimacy. We feel shame about the way our bodies look, from our past relationships, from pornography, and shame from abuse.
Now some of these things may take time to process and for Jesus to work through with you, but the truth is that you are a brand-new creation in Christ and completely forgiven for any choices you have made.
Also, you are not defined by what anyone else has done to you. You are defined by Christ and whom He says you are based on your union with Him.
So, when we trust Christ as our Life this frees us from the shame we can experience in the bedroom and allows us to enter into the enjoyment and pleasure He intended for us to experience.
CONCLUSION
Sex is not a sin according to the Bible if it is between a man and a woman in the context of a marriage relationship where both people are mutually submitting to one another.
Don’t fall for the lies just because our culture may view this differently. God is not holding out on you. He loves you and wants you to enjoy the good gifts that He created for you to enjoy. Sex is one of those gifts.
Trust Him with it and allow Him to be your Life and lead you in His ways so that you can experience all it was created to be. Don’t settle for the counterfeit sex the world offers you.
