The Comparison Trap
Introduction
Do you remember the time in your life when you started noticing the differences between you and other people? For many of us, that is the moment we fall into a trap: the comparison trap.
As I look back on my own life and even my life today, I have these moments when I compare myself to other people, and it makes me feel so inferior because there is always someone smarter, better looking, funnier, more talented, or more successful than me.
The Two Sides of Comparison
But you know, there’s another side to comparison that I’ve experienced too. I’ve put other people down and made fun of them, and instead of feeling inferior, I’ve felt superior to some people. I’ve been able to stick my chest out a bit more and walk around in pride because I thought I was smarter, at least than they were, better looking than they were, or more talented than they were. And it makes me sick to my stomach to even think about it.
The Ugly Consequences of Comparison
So, this is the trap that we all fall into when it comes to comparison. We are looking around at people who are happier, prettier, smarter, or just better than us, and it leads us to feel inferior, robbing us of value and joy in our lives. Alternatively, we are looking around and finding people whom we think we are happier than, prettier than, smarter than, or just better than, and we walk around in pride and arrogance. Either way, comparison leaves us in an ugly place in life, a place where we are stuck, constantly feeling inferior or superior to others.
The Roadblock Analogy
It’s kind of like a roadblock. In the same way that we can drive up to a roadblock on a highway and get stuck, we can come up against roadblocks in our everyday journey of life. Comparison is a roadblock on this journey of life that leaves us stuck, not moving forward but side to side, moving back and forth between feeling inferior or superior to others. And it robs us of real, abundant life.
The Root of Comparison
Let's talk about comparison a bit more and start with the question: “Why do we compare ourselves to others?” Then, we'll try to answer the question, "Is there a way out of the comparison game, a way around the comparison roadblock?"
The Root Cause: Slavery to the World's Standards
The answer to these questions can be found in a little section of Scripture in Galatians 4, which begins in verse 3 and says,
"So also, when we were underage, we were in slavery under the elemental spiritual forces of the world."
(Galatians 4:3)
Understanding "Underage"
When Paul says "underage," he is not referring to actual age in years. He is referring to a time before Christ, a time when humanity was under the influence and control of the elemental spiritual forces of the world.
This goes all the way back to the creation story and the Garden of Eden when sin entered the world. With sin came death and separation from God, the author of Life. As a result, we were born spiritually dead and under the control of the principles of this sin-cursed world.
The Void and the Longing
Because we are each created in the image of God and have meaning and value, we experience a deep longing for significance, purpose, and value throughout life. Since we can't draw on that meaning and significance from God (whom we were created to have it from), we look to the world.
Well, what's in the world? Other people. So, comparison becomes the means by which we try to find answers to our lives and fulfill that longing for significance.
Comparison as the Trap
Comparison is the trap we fall into when we look to others in our quest for meaning and value. We think it will propel us down the road of life, but in reality, it's just another roadblock preventing us from life.
We get caught in the cycle of finding others whom we believe we are doing better than and feel superior to, but we always come across others who are doing better than us, leading to feelings of inferiority. This cycle keeps us searching harder for people we think we are better than. It's part of the slavery to sin and this world that Paul mentioned.
The Solution: Redemption Through Christ
In other words, with sin and separation from God, we don't have much of a choice; comparison is a must for us in order to try and convince ourselves of our own worth, meaning, value, and significance. But God offers a solution. Paul continues in Galatians 4 and says,
"But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship. 6 Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” 7 So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir.”
(Galatians 4:5-7)
In other words, if you’ve put your faith and trust in Jesus for salvation, you are no longer a slave to the elemental forces of this world that Paul mentioned in verse 3.
If you are God’s child, then you have been freed from the slavery of comparison. You no longer have to find your identity, meaning, and purpose by seeing how you measure up to others.
The Freedom from Comparison
God is pleased with you just because you are his child. We even see this in Jesus’ life in Luke 3.
21 When all the people were being baptized, Jesus was baptized too. And as he was praying, heaven was opened 22 and the Holy Spirit descended on him in bodily form like a dove. And a voice came from heaven: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.”
(Luke 3:21-22)
What was God so pleased about? At this point in His life, Jesus has not healed anyone, performed any miracles, or taught anything yet, and still, God says, “I am well pleased in Him.” What was He so pleased with?
Simply in Him being His Son. And remember what Paul said you were now if you’ve placed your faith in Christ - a son! And that means that He is well pleased in you too. Not in your performance, not in whether you are prettier, smarter, or more talented than others. No, simply that you are His child.
So, this frees each one of us from the roadblock and trap of comparison. There is no need to look around and see how we are doing compared to anyone else because God is already pleased with us just for being part of His family.
Embracing Our Identity and Purpose
Now that we are free from the comparison trap, our focus can shift from measuring up to others to embracing the roles God has designed for us in His Kingdom.
Unique Roles and Gifts
Each of us has a unique role to play, some upfront and visible, others behind the scenes, some with specific talents, and others with different gifts. There is no need to compare, for God calls each one of us His masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10) and has a unique way He expresses His Life through us.
By renewing our minds with the truth of God's love and acceptance, we can overcome the lies perpetuated by the comparison game.
Conclusion
So, who are you looking to in order to define who you are and how you are doing in life? Are you comparing yourself to other people, their achievements, or their appearances? Or are you looking to God to define who you are, how He feels about you, and what role He has assigned you in His Kingdom work?
Comparison can keep us trapped in feelings of inferiority or superiority, but God offers us a way out. He invites us to accept His grace, His free gift of forgiveness and salvation, which allows us to become His children. With this acceptance, we can move past the roadblock of comparison and experience ultimate joy, satisfaction, and fulfillment in Christ.